I tried parties and reconnecting with old friends. I tried making new friends. I enjoyed amazing music. I threw myself violently out of my comfort zone. I took part in various workshops and programs. I started exercising. I started eating well. I started figuring out what suits me and what doesn’t, what works and what doesn’t.
I keep seeing those romanticised Joker and Harley memes on my feed. You know, the ones that portray their relationship as romantic and the kind of relationship people should want? It prompted me to save some images from the comics – mostly taken from other articles attempting to raise awareness of their relationship – and seeing as they’re just taking up space on my laptop, it’s time to share them.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever write opinion pieces on this blog, but ultimately when my opinions are related to the health of society, it’s a good fit!
He’d kick me, but I’d kiss those boots!
~ Harley’s Poem
I got my Joker and Harley tattoo towards the end of an abusive relationship that followed an abusive relationship and preceded yet another abusive relationship. Every one of them had their own flavour and brand of toxicity.
I got my tattoo while I began the process of figuring stuff out, like what was “wrong” with me and what was “wrong” with him, or what is “wrong” with them, and other people out there. The “processing” process is not an overnight thing and more like years of work, relapsing and trial and error.
Every time I look at my tattoo, a symbol of abuse and “mad love” (false love), I think about what I’ve been through, what I’ve put people through and what I never want to tolerate ever again. I wonder if it’s all behind me, or if despite my intelligence, if I brave the world of dating again, I’m just going to mess up again.
I won a small poetry competition on Facebook a few years ago writing about Harley’s Stockholm syndrome, called Harley’s Poem. My friends on Facebook have likely seen it cropping up a few times over the years. The competition was ran by popular Joker cosplayer, Anthony Misiano. I’m a big fan!
One of my old blog posts about Harley and Joker’s relationship in contrast to the respectful, loving relationship between Gomez and Morticia Addams seems to have influenced the creation of popular meme.
I can’t help but think, if you have a daughter or connections to young women, you ought to think twice before sharing a meme that romanticises domestic violence. However, I know going around demanding people rethink their behaviour and change their ways is a waste of time. Arguing with people over their posts on social media gets everybody nowhere. That’s why my focus has primarily been on me and being the change I want to see.
I wont be told what to say, or think or do, by anyone, but I try to consider the wider impact of my actions. I’ve had to make so many changes over the years because it turned out, some of my habits and behaviours were not the kind that encourages a better, fair society. I don’t just say “I don’t want to hurt anybody and I care about people.” I mean it, when I say it and if my behaviour does not reflect my core values, I realise it’s time to change it.
When it comes to stories like The Joker and Quinn’s, you can respect the artists and writers, without allowing this media to become a harmful message. Respect the actors in the movies. Respect the story, but don’t twist the story. Tell it how it is!
I’ve always liked heroes and villains, horror movies and the dark stuff growing up. You’d have a hard job getting me to sit down to watch a Disney film at any stage of my life, but I know what I’m looking at when I’m looking at violence.
People don’t seem to want to take responsibility for the messages they put out there that impact people’s lives, but are deeply confused when they read yet another article in the news about another violent incident or murder. And yet, society and people has been under the microscope for a long time. It’s fairly obvious where problems lie, but less obvious sometimes is how we can do something about it when a lot of people would rather disagree and carry on as they were.